When mother became ill on Feb. 28th and I rushed down to Oklahoma to be with her, George and I were planning a five day trip to New Orleans that weekend to hear some Cajun music in Breaux Bridge and to spend some time in our favorite 'wild and crazy' city. Instead of that trip, I was in Oklahoma planning the funeral of my beloved mother. In the past ten years, I have often had to rush to my mother when she had a health crisis and was admitted to various hospitals for various reasons. I always got insurance on any planned vacations, and I've always been mentally ready to drop my plans and run to her side. This time, the New Orleans trip got canceled and I hardly even thought about it. It is in the past....as if I went...and don't remember it.
Things don't make sense to me yet, and it will be a long time before I can imagine life without my mother. She was always ready to talk on the phone, and we shared books, recipes and magazine articles. She was funny and smart and wise. She saw right through me. I never bothered to tell her a lie, because she would know right away. She was my best friend, and we were joined at the heart, if not the hip. I have had her in my life a lot longer than most daughters have their mothers. I am grateful for that, and always have been.
I am not in the mood to go to New Orleans. But yesterday I planned another trip, this time to a small country bed and breakfast in Campton, New Hampshire, in April. It is near the beautiful Kangamangus Highway, and although there will be no dancing or Cajun music, it seems that a nice tranquil spot, and a drive through the country in early spring, will be just right for me right now.
My mother used to laugh with me at something my older brother said long ago, "Other families have their problems, but in our family, it's one crisis after another." That really isn't true, but now I realize that I have had my last crisis with my mother. Now, it's time to figure out how to live without her, and maybe time for a little tranquility.
Have a great day.
