I have been writing my blog about what is going on in my life for years now, so now I will write about my mom, and her funeral, and the thoughts that are going through my mind all the time. I seem to be living minute by minute, hour by hour. I don't have the energy to make big plans.
When I was in Oklahoma staying with her at the hospital, and then going through the process of planning her funeral, I also was trying very hard not to get sick. I didn't want to fall apart and have my health suffer. There is so much going on emotionally, that is easy to have the physical part fall apart. So, this weekend, I am home and have decided to take it easy and get as much rest as I can.
These beautiful flowers arrived today from a good friend at work. I am thrilled with them, and am amazed at the outpouring of sympathy I have received through cards, emails and flowers. A group at work brought me the most beautiful white orchid I have ever seen and it is on my desk. It towers up over my cube, and looks breathtaking. It is so nice to have such nice people around me. It really helps to know that I have such good support.
Tonight George and I are going to the Kennedy Library for a company dinner and a night out. I thought of not going, but then decided that to mope around at home wouldn't be a good idea. We will go, enjoy the lovely food and music, and leave for home when we are ready. I am looking forward to seeing Jacqueline Kennedy's clothes...of all things. (I haven't changed much.)
I decided to buy some beautiful pink alpaca yarn (very soft) and make myself a shawl, which I can wrap around myself like a hug from mom. It is a good thing to remember her as I knit, and also a good thing just to sit and knit, and not to expect too much from myself right now. She would like it.
Have a great day.