Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Medical Procedure Looming

On Friday I have a colonoscopy scheduled for 12:15. I have been on a bland diet consisting of fish, potatoes, white bread and food without seeds, nuts, fruits or fresh vegetables for a week now. I call it the Twinky Diet. Anything that you aren't supposed to eat, like doughnuts, cake, cookies,....all that is good, and what is bad is what they tell you is good for you; grains, rice, beans, red meat, fruit and vegetables. It is a crazy diet and has me turned all upside down.

This week I have been eating fish and potatoes every night for dinner. They didn't say anything about chocolate Easter Bunnies, so I split one of those with George last night. I stole it right out of the kid's Easter Basket. This has been one of those weeks.

Tomorrow is Thursday and starting at the moment I get up (although I don't really see anything to get up for) I can't have any solid food at all, and none until my procedure is over at 2:15 on Friday afternoon. I am going to be one mean and hungry junk yard dog by that time! Last night I made a special trip to the store to stock up on what I CAN have; clear soup, yellow jello, Gatorade and flavored water. Yummy! I don't even want to think of what it will be like working at my office for a whole day without food. And I really don't see what clear broth is going to bring to the equasion anyway...who needs it?

I have decided that I am going to pretend that I am a movie star and that I am paying a thousand dollars a day to go to a fancy "cleaning and rejuvinating" spa, where they limit your food and work on doing exactly what I will be doing as I prepare for this colonoscopy. Maybe I'll even have a manicure at lunch time. Can't hurt.

I haven't gone without meals very often in my life. Even when I had a baby, I had lunch, then had a baby, and then had dinner. I didn't even miss a meal!

No wonder people don't want to have these procedures. This is no picnic...literally. Wish me luck!

Have a great day.